Yesterday, as I pulled out of my driveway, headed to the gas station, I passed a neighbor on the sidewalk. I said a prayer out loud for her and for her terminally ill sister for whom she is caring. I see her out walking several times a day. I stop to visit with her often but didn’t yesterday. She was visiting with another neighbor. She shared with me that walking helps her by giving her a short respite and by reviving her energy to continue on.
I remember my sister’s long journey with cancer. I remember vividly watching her struggle with the treatments and their impact on her quality of life. And one day I asked her, point blank, “How are you doing this?” And she gave me that Betty grin and said, “I work with what I have to deal with what is.”
She did it well. When I was diagnosed with cancer the last time, I longed for her presence and grieved her loss even more deeply. But her example and her words helped me deal with the grueling chemo and its side effects. I just kept telling myself, “Work with what you have to deal with what is.” And as I struggled, I learned, and the lessons weren’t limited to how to survive chemo. I learned that I couldn’t wait for the conditions I desired; I learned to deal with what is. And I learned from experience that the Spirit is with me as well as countless others who are struggling as I am just watching me. I learned I do not make this journey alone.
Life has taught me, not always gently, that I can’t wait until everything is perfect. Life has taught me that I can’t hide until what I want comes along. Life has taught me that daily I must cope with what is, with grace, with love, with the help and companionship of others. Do I always succeed? Heavens no.
As I reflect upon my journey, I am reminded that so many along the way, companions to me or those whom I have tried to be a companion to wrestle with what is. I am sure that you yourselves are wrestling, too. Life isn’t easy. But always and everywhere, we must remember that we are not meant to go it alone. Jesus told us, “Without me, you can do nothing” (John 15:5). Jesus also calls us to be there as loving support to one another. Sometimes, we will be the support to another; at other times we will need to draw upon the support of another. At all times, Christ is with us and the Spirit guides us and the love of the Father for us, His children, is assured.
I’ve learned from some of the best, some of the strongest. Life isn’t easy but it is blessed. Even when we find ourselves dealing with situations we would not ask for, we must deal with what is. That’s life. And always, as we seek to pick up and carry on, as we seek to deal with what is, we must begin with prayer and keep that prayer going. Prayer, I have learned is the one element I have seen in the lives of all who deal well with what is.
Until tomorrow, let us all love well.