“A Beautiful Skill” (03/23/2025)

The annual community soup supper brings with it a whole lot of work, but thankfully a whole lot of hands show up to make it happen. Last Thursday, it was that day again. I was on hand, helping out where I could, responsible primarily for making the Nesco of macaroni and cheese. I had all the ingredients in front of me, measured out. The huge pots were on the stove to boil the macaroni and make the sauce. I was standing on my tip toes, reaching to stir the white sauce so it didn’t stick before it thickened when she tapped my shoulder and took my whisk away. “Here, let me help” Maureen said.

And I stepped back a bit from the stove and back in my mind nearly fifty years. “Let me help.” Those were wonderful words to me that day. I was overwhelmed. My husband was in Iowa on a new job. I was in Austin, Minnesota with our three children aged 4, 5, and 6. My job was to care for the kids, get the house sold and pack up. Our oldest daughter was suffering greatly at the time with rheumatoid arthritis after an earlier bout with rheumatic fever. We had no relatives nearby. And my “friends” were few since we’d moved there less than 2 years earlier.

And the doorbell rang. When I answered it, Kay, my neighbor was standing there with a plate of cookies and her teenage daughter. I invited them in. Kay’s daughter walked to the living room where my three kids were playing and sat down with them. Kay took my arm at the elbow and with the plate of cookies took me to the kitchen and sat me down at the table. She knew I always had iced tea in the fridge. She took out 2 glasses, filled them with iced tea, put them on the table and sat down with me. She smiled and she said, “You are young, Kate. You still need to learn the beautiful skill of asking for help.” And I just sort of melted first into a pool of tears and then into a smiling chatterbox.

Kay and her daughter came over frequently for the next month as I finished our preparations for our move to Iowa. She always brought cookies for the kids. Sometimes she would take me out and her daughter would stay and care for the kids. It was such a blessing. But even more of a blessing was the awareness that if a need arose, she was only a call away. And the assurance that she would come if I called.

It was a difficult lesson for me to learn. “Help” to me shows my vulnerability, my weakness, my shortfall. But I did. And it supported my belief that the LORD takes care of fools and short Irish women – He sent me help. It also taught me that asking for help is no shame, in fact it is the way it is meant to be; we are called to work together, supporting one another, bringing our skills to the moment together accomplishing what we cannot do alone. I practice that skill a lot at grocery stores where everything I want is mysteriously out of reach on the top shelf. I practice it at our parish when I ask others to help with projects not only too big for one person but also designed to build community. And I’ve learned that Kay was right, asking for help is a beautiful skill.

I have also learned that recognizing another's need like Kay and Maureen is also a beautiful skill. It fits nicely in the LORD's divine design for us.

As we go forward on our journeys of faith, hope and love, let us not be ashamed to ask for the help of others along the way. And let us be on the lookout for those times and places where we can and should give of ourselves and our time and talents and treasures to make a greater good possible. Let us be attentive for another who could use some help and be willing to step up and step in. Let us remember, asking for help is a beautiful skill.

Until tomorrow, let us all love well.